Brenda Huber Cravings (pdf)

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I even pushed Stuart aside at one point, first trying
my traditional training, and then, when that didn t
work, I tried laying my hands upon her chest& just
as I did with that boy& but nothing happened.
Stuart pulled me back, and he began ordering life
support.
But I couldn t let him do it. I couldn t stand the
thought of hooking her up to those machines. I knew
she wouldn t want that for herself. Damn me, as
much as I hated to let her go& as much as it tore me
up inside& I couldn t do that to her. I couldn t
disrespect her that way, couldn t diminish her life.
She was hemorrhaging, and her pupils were
unresponsive.
And when she flat-lined for the second time& I
told Stuart to call time of death. I wouldn t let him
use the paddles again. Kate tipped her head back to
stare up into his eyes, and he could see what the
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decision had cost her. I stood there, bawling like a
child, my hands covered with her blood, and told my
co-worker to call my mother s time of death.
Ah, querida, he whispered. There were no
words. The strength this woman his woman
possessed humbled him. Mierda& every time her
pager went off& surely it reminded her of that night.
And yet she continued to answer the call.
Every time, without fail.
Without hesitating.
He would never deserve her. But he d damned
well do everything in his power to try.
Elsie took me to my office. She pretty much
central lined hot sweet coffee into me, found a pile of
warm blankets and offered her shoulder until I cried
myself dry. I don t know how I would have made it
through those first brutal hours if it hadn t been for
Elsie Chapman.
It seemed he had yet one more thing that he
owed Elsie Chapman, RN. Guilt lay like a rock in
the pit of his stomach. He d be personally seeing to it
that Ms. Chapman got her vacation, all expenses
paid& plus some.
By the time I calmed down, I realized that
Maggie still didn t know. So I called her, asked her
to come to the hospital. And I broke the news, took
her in to see Mom. She spoke to Stuart, begged for
answers. Wanted to know why Mom wasn t put on
life support. Stuart tried to explain that she was
probably already too far gone by the time she made
it into the ER. He tried to& He tried to protect me,
tried to shoulder the brunt of the decision. But she
wouldn t listen. And when she found out that I made
him call time of death&
Kate dashed the back of her hand over her
drenched eyes, smearing glistening, salty moisture
across her cheeks.
Maggie blamed me. Said I didn t love Mom
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enough. That I didn t try hard enough. That I could
have saved her if I d really wanted to.
Kate, she was grieving. She didn t mean
Yes, she did. She meant every word. The
turbulent, self-directed anger in her voice gave him
pause. You see, Maggie had seen my special gift. A
few years after Dad passed away, she and I had gone
swimming with friends at a creek. One of them had
dove in, head first, into an area that was too shallow.
The other kids went for help while Maggie and I
stayed with her. I don t know why or how I knew to
do it but I closed my eyes and held my hands over
her neck. The next thing I knew, a group of adults
had returned and were examining her& but she was
fine. Not a scratch on her. Maggie never spoke of it,
never told anyone else. But I knew that she knew.
And that s why she walked away the day after
Mom s funeral and never looked back, Kate dabbed
at her eyes with the tissue, blew her nose, then
tossed the tissue in the waste can beside the
nightstand. When she turned her weary gaze to him,
guilt and self-doubt shadowed her eyes. She s never
forgiven me for letting Mom die.
And you haven t forgiven yourself, either.
She remained silent.
Gently, he drew her head into the curve of his
shoulder, and he rocked her. He held her tight,
absorbing her pain. It wasn t your fault, Kate.
Sometimes& no matter what you do, no matter what
you can do& they still die.
Kate glanced sharply up at him. Though he d
never spoken of Eliza to anyone, never spoke of Ava,
or that part of his past& not even to his best friend
Cole& Styx could see Kate needed to hear, needed to
understand that guilt and grief, in time, lessen.
And so he told her a story& the story of a young
man tricked by a beautiful courtesan, and of that
young man s friend slaughtered by that same
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courtesan. He told her of a young innocent girl with
dazzling dreams, dreams into which a monster had
tread, ignorant to the danger he d placed her in.
And he told her of a sadistic desert sheikh& and
his own part in bringing death to Tacoma.
****
Verra good, Kate, Cian called, shifting on the
balls of his feet. Purple energy orbs pulsing in the
palms of his hands. He fainted to the right, then
lunged left, lifting his arm.
Kate s hands shot up between them, and the orb
in Cian s palm erupted in a burst of brilliant shards
of light. Sucking in a sharp breath between his
clenched teeth, Cian shook his smarting hand,
flexing his fingers. Pride swelled inside her. She was
finally getting the hang of this. Learning to control
these urges, these throbs and pulses of power
flowing in her veins& these bursts of power that has
terrified her for so long& was exhilarating.
Liberating.
She and Cian had been practicing for hours now,
out here deep in the darkened forests of Pointe
Defiance. Styx continued to view Cian in a
suspicious light, had refused to allow him to take her
anywhere alone. And, for obvious reasons, practicing
this type of control was not advisable amidst
Tacoma s dense population. So they d taken a cab.
She cringed as she recalled the cabby s
speculative stares in his rear view mirror. With Cian
on her left, and Styx on her right, she d felt
miniscule and unnoticeable sandwiched between the
two blatantly male specimens. But the dark-eyed
man had continued to stare nonetheless, his
enigmatic gaze slid back and forth between Cian and
Styx before returning to her. Time and time again.
And when his attention was on her, Kate resisted [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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